With Friends Like These...

Ugh.

So, the lineup for CPAC--think of it as a Conservative Yearly Kos/Netroots Nation with less patchouli and more Brylcreem--is coming together. Let's have a look, shall we?

The latest schedule for the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, D.C. late February: Possible presidential candidates include Rep. Paul Ryan (WI), speaking Thursday, Rep. Mike Pence (IN), speaking Thursday -- he's invited, not confirmed -- Gov. Mike Huckabee, on Thursday, Gov. Sarah Palin, on Thursday -- invited, not confirmed, and Rep. John Shadegg (AZ). On Friday, Sen. John Cornyn speaks in the early morning; Newt Gingrich hosts a screening of a movie about Ronald Reagan. Ron Paul and Mitt Romney speak in the afternoon. On Saturday, Rick Santorum begins the day and Gov. Tim Palwenty is an invites speaker. The lovely [sic] Ann Coulter speaks at noon. And Rush Limbaugh finishes the conference.

Huckabee. Palin. Cornyn. Santorum. Coulter. Limbaugh. [I originally wrote one-word summaries of each of their respective contributions here, but prudence inspires me to delete it before publishing.] Individually, they are each loathesome in their own special way, providing nothing but inanity and fueling self-righteous rage of conservatives and liberals alike. Collectively, they represent a holy war on decency and rationality that makes me wonder if it is even worth it to fight any more. As much as I cannot stand the pomposity of Chuck Schumer, the political hackery of Nancy Pelosi, the incompetence of Harry Reid and the unbearable triteness of being that is Dick Durbin, I'm at a loss when I look across the ideological aisle and see these cross-weilding populist asses and their attack dogs.

If these are really the politcal stars of our times, on both sides, we're all pretty much fucked.